Friday 20 June 2008

My bottom, Kevin Spacey and the magical dancing unicorn

Last night, I dreamt that I was entering prison. I had no idea why I was there, or where the prison was. The dream started just after I had apparently objected to having my bottom examined by a prison officer. He told me to fill in a form to register my objection and, if appropriate, nominate someone to be present while I had my bottom examined.

For some reason it occured to me that I should have a priest present! Next thing I know, there's a priest standing next to me, but I took an instant dislike to him. Then, randomly, Kevin Spacey enters the room and I complain to him that priests should be independent and not on the payroll of the Prison Service. He says "yeah yeah yeah, sit with me" and we sit on the floor with our back to the door. Next he claps his hands together and says "scientific facts people!" and everyone in the room takes turns telling Spacey interesting scientific facts, none of which I remember.

Then this guy - another prisoner, I think - pulls out this tiny silver unicorn, no more than a couple of centimetres high, everyone goes "ooooh!" and Spacey says "now that's what I'm talking about!". An armchair appears to my right and the guy puts the unicorn on to it where it starts to do a little dance, before falling off down the side of the cushion. Whoever is in the chair scrambles to try and retrieve it. I wake up.

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