Britain's Next Top Model: Poise and Composure - why on earth was Alexandra in the final two? She's the hottest of the contenders by quite some distance. One of the girls couldn't walk in high heels, which might be a bit of a problem when you want to be a, you know, model - 4/5
Mad Men: Shoot - another absorbing episode - 4/5
The Late Show - Kelsey Grammer is quite a funny guy and not entirely dissimilar to Frasier Crane. Shame that his latest sitcom Back To You (which, I admit, I haven't had a chance to see) has been cancelled. Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell, was also on. She could talk for Michigan, but she's throroughly charming and hotter than I had ever realised. And yes, I do use the words 'hot', 'hotter' and so on a bit too much. Still going to do it though. There was a band on too, but I didn't bother to watch them - 4/5
Nip/Tuck: Dr Joshua Lee - Nip/Tuck back on form after a season that had been drifting alarmingly - 4/5
The Colbert Report: 5th May - first time watching this spin-off from the Daily Show. Very funny stuff it is too, without the tedious skits that plague the Daily Show. RAAAAAAAAAIN!!! Also drew my attention to this true story in which a 911 dispatcher fell asleep during a call from a woman who had been robbed at gunpoint - 4/5
The Apprentice: Week Seven - bye Jenny and Jenny, Chinny McGinger (as Anna Pickard of the Guardian refers to her) and Aunt Sally depart. Seems Mr Sophocles thinks he's half-Jewish. Sorry dear boy, but you can't be half Jewish. Jewishness is passed down the maternal line so you're either Jewish or you're not. Oh, you can't get a kosher chicken from a muslim butcher either, not even if the butcher's shop is in front of a mosque and not even if you ask the butcher to pray for the chicken before he chops it's head off. Am I the only one who finds Helene rather inexplicably attractive? Fantastic TV as always - 5/5
At this point, I watched three editions of The Late Show and wrote down who all the guests were then promptly lost the piece of paper they were on, but I do remember the ratings were 2/5, 3/5 and 4/5. I do remember some guests though, Billy Crystal is usually a funny guest, but there was too much baseball chat,, which is terribly dull. Thankfully, Maria Sharapova was on afterwards, who is always charming, though her choice of attire was a little dubious. Tennis in the street with Dave and Billy. Good stuff. Who else... hmm, Tina Fey, a comedic genius. Would love to see her do something with our own (as in, lives in England) Sharon Horgan. Helen Hunt looks old. Incidentally, have you seen how old Bill Clinton looks lately? He isn't an old guy, so it must be the heart stuff that's done him in a bit. Either that or living with Hillary. Give it up girl!
The Big Bang Theory: The Jerusalem Duality - I remember almost nothing about this, except that Kaley Cuoco wasn't in it all that much. I notice such things - 4/5
The Late Show - Uma Thurman, Graham Rahal (he races cars, apparently) and The Gossip. Watched as far as Uma and I have to say, I didn't really like her. Nothing I can really put my finger on, but she left me a bit cold - 3/5
Have I Got A Bit More News For You -
Brian Blessed as guest host, cracked me up - 5/5
House: Ugly - I do hope Olivia Wilde is a permanent addition to the cast. Trivia: her real name is Olivia Cockburn. *says nothing* - 4/5
Balls Of Steel: 2nd May - pah, it was a repeat - 3/5
Have I Got A Bit More News For You - this one hosted by Bill Bailey. Not up to Brian Blessed standards but still the funniest thing on TV - 4/5
Gladiators - Gladiators returns after 42 years off our screens, this time thanks to Sky. It's pretty much the same as the old series, except with all new Gladiators, new presenters in Ian Wright and the divine Kirsty Gallacher...
...and a large water tank instead of crash mats. Other than that, it's business as usual. To be honest, it all felt a little flat and I think that's down to a lack of personality in the Gladiators. Oblivion gamely tried to be the new Wolf, but was a bit cringe-inducing. Top marks for trying though. Hopefully, the rest of them will open up a bit more over the next fourteen weeks instead of standing around scowling. The show itself is inherently compelling though and will transcend any failings in this area. Who are the hot girls? has to be Kirsty (of course) and Inferno...
Britain's Got Talent - same sort of mix as usual, which is no bad thing. The 12-year old singer, Faryl Smith, was remarkable to my untrained ears, but although she was about the size of a 12-year old, her face older...
...and what was with the magic act? Animalgique I think they were called? OK, so it was reasonably impressive but come on people, it's 2008, not 1984. Dress accordingly! - 4/5
Battlestar Galactica: Escape Velocity - one of those BSG episodes light on pyrotechnics, but which still manages to transcend pretty much everything else on TV. How the Four are coming to terms with the Cylon heritage is great stuff as they slowly progress to an inevitible end. On the subject of the BSG universe, Eric Stoltz has joined the cast of prequel Caprica as Daniel Greystone, the creator of the Cylons. - 4/5
Entourage: The WeHo Ho - Eric's moaning about Walsh is getting tiresome, but never mind - 4/5
ER: Truth Will Out - a fairly by-the-numbers episode, but watchable enough. Not sure why Neela came over all weepy with Aida Turturro. There didn't seem to be any backstory to it. Here's hoping Luka pisses off back to Croatia. He's boring, always has been and the notion he would go to work in a hospice as a palliative care doctor is improbable - 4/5
Heroes: Kindred - despite the interminible crap with Hiro in Japan and an excess of green-screen shots, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Claire Bear has a Superman-esque friend and Nikki's back, which is always good. Sylar's around too and it will be interesting to see how he recovers some powers, as surely he must? - 4/5
Cane: A New Legacy - Cane continues to grow on me. I admire that it has the sheer balls to shamelessly rip off the opening scene of The Godfather. It's just a shame that sugar cane and rum is a bit of a sucky backdrop for the business intrigue. How about a drama about a family of arms dealers? Rachael Carpani needs to do something about her hair - 4/5
Boston Legal: Glow In The Dark - the weakest episode in a while. Highlights were the scenes between Leigh and Katie (sporting straight hair and a large nose), but the rest had nothing. A dull case about a nuclear power plant and some truly boring scenes with Shirley and an old lover, played by Scott Bakula. It's becoming noticeable that the cast has shrunk. There were fewer extras and credited stars Saffron Burrows, Taraji Henson and Gary Anthony Williams were all absent. That's what happens with cost cutting and, sadly, it's only likely to get worse next season following on from the news the show has been renewed, but for a smaller licence fee. Something needs to be done to stave off what could become a terminal decline - 3/5
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